Batman Vs Superman: the dawn of justice

sad-batman

so where do i start with batman Vs Superman the Dawn of justice? we’ll i’d start with the stupidly long title, it sounds like two films brought together in a board meeting that i imagine went something like this, “i heard the kids like Batman”, “i heard they like superman”, imagine if we got them to fight, then the whole world would go crazy. this is how i imagine this film got made, genuinely, not with love or fun in mind but in board room with lots of talking taking place without anyone once stepping up and saying “shouldn’t it be fun”?

Firstly though i’d like to take some time to talk about he characterisation of these characters, Batman and superman are close to 100 years old at this point, they both pass their centennial very shortly and for as long as they’ve appeared in the comics they have appeared in many other mediums as well, everything from radio plays (superman) to campy tv series (batman). considering this long drawn history of mainstream acceptance i find it so laughable how off character everyone is in this film. one of the first major problems with this film is that in order for us, the audience to really engage with the film then we must first understand who is the good guy and who is the bad guy, this is by far the most basic of all Hollywood tropes, this naturally causes some problems, when both your main combatants are supposed to be heroes, who are you meant to root for? well it appears that the writers want us rooting for Superman because Batman does some truly shocking and out of character things in this film, we see him branding enemies, i mean he actually uses a gun in this film, on not one but four separate occasions, this is something he would never do and the most glaringly annoying one for me is that he out and right kills people, with out remorse he takes actions that kill people, this is so out of character for batman and considering in the last decade we’ve had 3 films that show just how adverse he is to using guns made by the same people, it shows just how little care went into this film. Batman is not the only character whose off, most of them are, Alfred looks quite young and the parental father figure that he has always been to batman seems to be gone, something that i think is a shame. he is once again turned into a tool for the screenwriters to explain the plot, this is also true of martha kent who has somehow become this scared old lady, she is very much removed from the hard as nails women who would take on a child with clarks abilities, she talks to her son like she’s a journalist writing a story rather than as a mother. Superman is still the same wimp he always is and Clark, yes i do consider them separate characters, is just whiny and narcotic and boring. theses are just the main characters, there are a lot of secondary characters in this film and i mean a lot, there are so many in fact that you’ll struggle to even keep up with whats going on, i’m going to let you in on a secret as well, you don’t need to, there not important, there just there to give the impression that this is a truly fleshed out world, something i think DC hasn’t quite earned yet. there are two acceptions though in this film, i loved lex Luther, he was genuinely sociopathic and i got a sense why he hated superman and thats because superman is more powerful than him and wonder woman, honestly wonder woman made this movie, everytime she was on screen i was captivated, she truly did dominate, especially in the closing scenes. in a film that lacks any subtly she has my favourite moment, when doomsday is attacking she naturally throws herself in head first and gets beaten down and in that moment i felt excited for the new wonder woman movie because in that moment she smiled, i got the sense that she enjoyed what was happening and as an amazon warrior she isn’t averse to battle, not to mention she used her lasso of truth and actually fights like the wonder woman i know. this was strange in this film, that this subtle moment would be my favourite moment because as well as all the characters being very off this film its about as subtle as a brick to the face and that this moment would even make it beyond the cutting room floor amazes me.

so now that we’ve gotten the basic characters out of the way its time to look at the story, this film has a lot to do, from the title you’d think it was a very simple process, we have to find a way to get Batman and Superman to fight, they have done this in the comic books but in the comic there was an actual reason, in this it was pointless, it was just an excuse for mindless violence. so I’m going to try and explain the story, Batman is in gotham fighting crime, superman in metropolis doing his thing, Lex luthor has become obsessed with superman and wants to destroy him, lois is running around the world, some back door deals are happening, and superman must stand before congress. thats just for starters, this is a Synder film, he likes to do these intricate stories and has since his inception, as a producer he likes to do these intricate stories with lots of connected pieces that build upon each other, well from the front they look complete and stable but if you look just slightly off centre you’ll see how little is actually going on. this film is a mile wide and two inches deep in terms of story. there is so much going on but very little of it meaningful and so many of those smaller story lines are quickly abandoned once the fighting starts. the film makers also expect us the audience to know whats going on in this film with zero set up, I’m a DC fanboy, i read several of their comics a week, so i knew what was going, my date on the other hand no idea what was going on and honestly i don’t blame her, they wanted to make an avengers level film without any of the ground work that marvel put into their universe.

the most glaring thing you will notice about this film though, and by you i mean your bottom, is thats its long, its 2 and a half hours long and honestly i will describe this as a film of two halfs, despite how cliched that sounds, the second half is naturally where they put all the action, i think we get a good hour of fighting, first between batman and superman, a fight i still think is pointless beyond any sane belief and then between Superman, Batman, Wonder woman and doomsday and boy is there a lot of fighting. although there was a lot of fighting, a lot of boring fighting in the second half at least i knew what i was watching because i couldn’t tell you anything about the first part of this film, honestly i sat there watching this film and i found myself looking at my watch, yes a film that stars some of my favourite things in the universe was boring me enough to cause me to look at my watch, when I’m watching your movie i shouldn’t be looking at my watch and i most definitely shouldn’t be thinking “oh i still have two hours of this to go yet”. at one point i actually got up and went the toilet, not out of need but my bum went numb from lack of blood and i wanted to get the feeling back, i was assured that alls i missed was more pointless talking and very little going on, this film tries a lot and in trying a lot it fails to deliver on its basic premise, this is a comic book movie and I’m the first to admit that comics aren’t very serious, they are fun though and this film lacks all fun, it lacks all love from the filmmakers and there trying too hard to be cool, this film exists in a universe where marvel are making there films look effortless, we all know what there films are, and at a basic level there fun. hell, this movie came out a month after dead pool a film that summed up everything i like about comic book movies, it was fun, campy and i laughed. this films lacks anything meaningful for the audience, both comic books and non comic book a like and sadly its already made enough money to get a sequel green lit.

2/10

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Craft Liverpool rye pale ale

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So we continue our look at the beers of the Liverpool craft brewery, after the truly stellar beer that was their west coast pale ale (review) comes their Rye pale ale. To say these two contrast would be a huge understatement, im a fan of the rye pale ale, i actively seek it out and have been trying to review as many of them as possible recently but this left we with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Vital stats:

  • brewed in liverpool
  • a rye pale ale
  • available in Keg/Cask/Bottle
  • bought at brewdog liverpool
Look:
this beer was cloudly and looked like apple juice in the glass, it also had no head to speak of and it was very flat. if im honest ive made homebrew that looked quite similiar, but i am adversed to filtering my beer as i like to bottle ferment. this beer was not bottle fermented so they cant even use that as an excuse for this horrid looking beer. this looks more a kin to a glass of scrummpy than a pale ale.
 3/10
Aroma:
delivered nothing, so i have nothing to say.
1/10
Taste:
on the tongue though this does at least offer something, you do get a kick of rye and a hit of citrus but not much, shame there both buried quite deep down. im really struggling with this beer im not going to lie, im trying so hard to find things to say.
3/10
Value:
As i said in my previous review i consider Liverpool craft to be one  of my top brewerys and this beer is just a shame, they make two of my favourite beers (more on the second later), if i see one of their beers on tap im likely to pick it up but i can honestly say i didnt enjoy this beer in any way, sure i can find some good things to say, if i look hard enough and believe me im looking pretty damn hard because i dont want this to be true but i cant recommend this to anyone.
2/10
Session:
to top it off the Flavour of this beer doesn’t travel too well, the more you drink the more bitter it becomes, perhaps its feeding the bitterness in my soul but each mouthful of this was worse than the last.
2/10
this beer was a huge disappontment for me especially as their last beer was so great and the beer to come is one of my go to beers. this looked like homemade cider only without any real aroma. what little taste their was bitter and overpowering, all of these factors mean that this isnt good value for money and i cant call this a very good session beer. a true shame.
22/100

Liverpool craft West coast pale ale

IMG_0622After last weeks bevy of Brewdog beers i’ll be taking a look at some beers closer to home, we’ll be looking at Liverpool craft beer company’s beers, this review is for West coast pale ale and as a little preview this has become one of my favourite beers to enjoy in sunny liverpool.

Vital stats:

  • brewed in Liverpool
  • comes in 330ml bottles
  • californian pale ale
  • 6.2% APV

Looks:

this beer comes in a a 330ml bottle with a simple green and white label, it was was incredibly lively in the glass, when i poured this out i guestimate it was 90% head, lovely frothy white head. when i got the head down to a resonable size the beer was cloudy and toffee in colour.

9/10

Aroma:

something has changed for me in recent months, i seem to be craving hops, wonderful bitter hops and when i put this to my nose thats exactly what i got, beautiful hops with a little citrus thrown in for good measure. it was very yeasty yet also inviting even if it did make the eyes water slightly.

9/10

Taste:

this is a beer full of bold flavours, its very hoppy and yeasty, perfect for the beer garden if you ask me. despite this big bold flavour its still somewhat delicate on the tongue, although its big on flavour its quite quick to disapate, it gives you just enough to want more and never overstays its welcome.

9/10

Value:

i personally think this is fantastic value for money, especially at this time of year. there is a link between the weather and beer if you ask me, a beautiful sunny day does so much to improve your over all mood that its not hard to assume that it also improves what ever your drinking, this is why you’ll think estrella is the best larger ever when your drinking it on a beach in Spain but even the most beautiful beer can be a truly miserable experience if your cold and wet. i’ve tried this beer alot and each time ive love it, in winter ive even been known to use this to remind me of sunnier climates.

9/10

Session:

this is a great session beer, honestly i cant say enough good things about this beer. ive had it alot, ive had one at the end of the day and several in a day session with friends. i love it and would recommend it to you all over and over again.

9/10

this could be the highest rated beer we’ve ever done had on all hail the ale and obvisoulsy its hit all areas for me.  its starts by looking great, follows this by hoppy and lively aroma and follows this with powerful hoppy goodness that i’ve come to love, because it delivers in all areas naturally its great value for money and honestly i could drink hundreds of these without ever getting bored. it deserves such a great score and i recommend it to everyone who will listen.

90/100

Elvis juice

1456220704unspecified4so i continue my look at Brewdogs ever increasing list of beers, its almost like they opened an off license close to my house or something, i dont know what it is about the great wet and cold of the scotish countryside that makes these guys so obsessed with IPAs but they seem to like them, they seem intent on making every variety of IPA its possible to make and this week they have made a grapefruit infused IPA that is apparently inspired by Elvis.

Vital statisics

  • brewed in scotland
  • Grapefruit infused IPA
  • 6.5% APV
  • comes in 330ml cans and bottles

Looks:

you know that thing were you get an image in your head and any deviation from that image is somehow wrong, well thats what happened with this beer i think, i will admit that unusually for me i actively went out looking for this beer and if im honest when i read grapefruit i got this image in my head that perhaps it would have a little colour to it, i expected it to be pink if im honest and was disappointed with it when it wasn’t, i always enjoy a little drama with my beer, makes it a little bit more special. saying that though what i actually got was a rather bland looking beer, sure is was golden in colour, like a beer should be but there was very little activity in the glass with barely any head, not things ive come to expect from brewdog. this was very middle of the road.

5/10

Aroma:

this beer was very sweet on the nostril, you certainly get the grapefruit but very little else, luckily for them im a fan of grapefruit.

7/10

Taste:

this is a very strange beer on the tongue, somehow its both overpowering and lacklustre simulataneously. you get the grapefruite and the bitterness of the hops but rather than getting a layered nuanced flavour you get both at once, they seem to fight with each other for supremacy so no one flavour comes across, somehow this beer is both sickly sweet and bitter all at once. ultimately not an impressive thing for me, there such a thing as playing a little too much a recipe and think thats what happened here, there were too many cooks in the kitchen as it were.

4/10

Value:

i honestly cant say that this was great value for money, ultimately this catagory is and will always be about how much we enjoyed this beer and ultimately i didnt enjoy it, i wouldnt get a second of these beers and if i never had one again i’d be a happy man.

3/10

Session:

that sickly sweet flavour is the reason this fails as a session beer, when i was drinking this beer and watching wrestling with my housemate, yeah, i know im so cool, my housemate turned to me and asked while i kept making the face i was, that face dear reader was one of disgust, each mouthful was less pleasurable than the last and i was happy when it was over so i could move onto another beer.

2/10

in conclusion this beer started off promising so much, it comes from a brewer known for doing crazy things, a brewer known for its IPAs but ultiately that hope quickly faded into obscurity, it was too flat for what i expect from an IPA, the taste in the mouth couldnt decide weather it wanted to be sweet or bitter and as a result it failed to deliver on both, the one saving grace for this beer though was the aroma which delivered on its grapefruit promise, the only part of this beer that delivered on that promise ultimatley though. a huge disappointment for me.

42/100

Albino squid assassin

1450369972AlbinoSquidAssassin_1.LEADAnother day another brewdog beer, i’ve not always enjoyed IPA’s, i find the strong Hoppy taste is often overpowering and a little too much for me, too distracting as it were. The acception to this rule is the rye IPA, i discovered these thanks to beavortown, honestly i’ll drink anything they release at this point, i first discovered this variety a little while ago thanks like i said to Beavor town (review), so when ever i see a rye ipa and always pick it up and give it a try.

Vital statisics:

  • 7.2% Apv
  • brewed in scotland
  • small batch
  • Rye IPA
  • comes in 330ml can
  • bought from a brewdog pub

Looks:

I will admit that it was the art that attracted me to this beer, featuring a squid with a knife. i mean given that image why wouldnt i pick it up? when i picked it up and noticed that it was a Rye IPA and its fate was sealed, i was going to review this beer. In the glass the beer was Toffee in colour with a white white head, about 1 and a half fingers in depth. it was also very lively with a high level of head retention, the head lasted right until the end of this beer.

8/10

Aroma:

The aroma eminating from this beer was heaven sent, a fantastic hoppy citrus god send. you got both a huge kick of hops and that citrus kick we’ve all come to expect.

9/10

Taste:

despite the aroma being so pleasing the taste is a strange beast, i honestly cant place it, it isnt hoppy, theres no bitterness and the rye is no where to be found. all three flavours seem to be trying to be the only flavour and as a result they all fail to deliver. the sensation on the tongue is rather nice though, it has a nice tingling from the front to the back of the tongue but ultimately i was disappointed by this beer.

4/10

Value:

cant really say that this is good value for money, its a small batch beer so it wont be a round forever but honestly go for something else, there are much better options available.

3/10

Session:

although i dont consider this to be a good value for money i cant deny its good session beer, mostly because that taste what little there is isnt too offensive.

7/10

in conclusion the looks and the aroma were all spot on with this beer but the taste failed to deliver, something of a strange occurence for brewdog, there known for one thing and that is big flavour and as a result this beer fails to deliver on that premise. due to its failure to deliver on the taste i cant say this is good value for money but due to its subtle flavour though it can be a good session beer.

62/100

Dead pony club

deadpony3So with brewdogs new AGM taking palce up there in the dark wet north i thought i would take a look at some of brew dog latest beers, and by latest i mean a beer that been around for a while but i never got round to reviewing until now. Say what you will about brewdog, there ability to self promote, there often garish marketing methods (a taxidermied squirrel anyone?) they do make great pubs and my fair city just got one. now its not really for me, yes it has a fantastic beer selection but honestly i prefer my pubs with years and years of booze stains from the many great moments that have happen there. despite not really being my type of pub i do like the fact that they let me take away any beer they have on display for use at home, its a nice feature and honestly i think it may start becoming my go to off license. at this point i think i should stop waffling on and get down to the nitty gritty  of actually reviewing this fine beer.

Vital statisics:

  • Brewed in scotland
  • 5% APV
  • Come in 330ml bootle and can
  • American style pale ale

Look:

Dead pony club, like most Brewdog beers comes in both a bootle and a can, they have the standard modern blocky label, perosnally i always prefer the look of the cans because there smaller and cuter. when poured it was Golden brown, cloudy and produced a single finger stark white head. it was a very lively Californioan pale ale and you do indeed feel this in the stomach.

8/10

Aroma:

The Californian pale ale is known for its big bold hoppy flavours, trust the yanks to take a stable of the british drinking scene for generations and take it to its natural heights and do it in a natrually american way. known for their big and bold antics it is only natrual that their beer should follow this model. this beer was hoppy, i dont know why but at this moment i am craving the hops like never before, must be the good weather. this style of beer is also known for combining severel types of hops and when i put it up to my nose i got two distinct types of hops, quite rare for something so bold and bombastic to also hint at the care a delicancy that goes into it.

7/10

Taste:

The subtly shown in the aroma is present here, strange to write thos words in regards to brewdog but they have been releasing these toned down beers recently and i appreciate it. Dead pony club had a slightly hoppy taste on the tongue but it quickly disappeared, it was a very subtle beer but what flavour it does have it goes a long way.

7/10

Session:

Subtly is the key here, and that subtly makes this a wonderful session beer with each beer going down well, a little too well if im honest.

8/10

Value:

A fantastic value if you ask me, i walk past a brew dog pub most days on my way home and i often head in a grab another of these beers. thats all you really need to know really.

7/10

In conclusion this is a fabulous beer from brew dog, it looked spot on, subtly was the key here as the aroma had hoppy subtle undertones that was echoed in the taste profile. This is a great session beer and i consider it great value for money, i might call this Brewdogs best beer and i know thats controversal.

74/100

Why?

rexfeatures_2975065avSo today someone sent me an interesting article concerning weatherspoons, well i say interesting, what i really mean is strange because lets be honest there is nothing interesting about weatherspoons, if weatherspoons was to have its own colour it would be egg shell white, we all know its white but there desperately trying to be “cool” and “edgy” so they invent this whole new colour just because.

so the article in question was in vice and it was about a women who wants to visit every single weatherspoons in the country, i mean how much do you not wish to meet this women, i think my personal idea of hell would be having dinner with this women in a weatherpoons, eating their bland currys that have been microwaved to within an inch of its life.

so i decided to write about this because honestly it has some beautiful and truly wonderful quotes.

There’s a unique atmosphere in Wetherspoons on weekday mornings. Without music or the bustle of a busy evening, the pub I’m in feels remarkably still, the silence only broken by the occasional plod of pint glass on table.

yeah the atmosphere of desperation.

“Well, I’m retired now,” Mags explains, “which is good, because this is basically a full-time job. But before I retired I was a personal secretary, and I organised trips for my bosses, so I suppose that helps. To make a trip worthwhile, I need to visit at least seven Wetherspoons.”

“At first we’d go on holiday, and wherever we went we’d look for Wetherspoons pubs,” she says. “But then we turned it round – we looked to see where the Wetherspoons pubs were and hooked the holiday around that.”

i think i’ll stick to lanzorette personally

Now i admire Mags eccentric nature, i’d like to think i’m very similiar but honestly the way Vice have written this they make her out to be some kind of hero, Vice you better than that, personally i smell some advertising money from weatherspoons because this is a puff piece if i ever saw one.

if you’d like to read the puff piece yourself, you can here